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ce Uncle Podger Hangs a Picture, Jerome K, Jerome, , Jerome K, Jerome (1859-1927), the son of an unsuccessfy, ironmonger, became an actor and published . rl of, humorous pleces about the theatre called On oe a Ses 8, Off. Its success prompted him to publish Idle ak ie be, Idle Fellow, a collection of humorous essays that ae oh os 7, reputation as a writer, But he is best remembers’ e on oe, travelogue Three Men in a Boat, written after his es i be, the river Thames. It is the story of three youné menab ce 9g, who take a rowing holiday on the Thames. This novel became, such a success that boating on the river became a popular, pastime, This book has remained in print. The sequel Three Men, on a Bummel about a bicycle tour in Europe did not have equal, publishing success. In 1892, Jerome and some friends founded, The Idler, a humorous magazine which published work by writers, such as W, W, Jacobs and Mark Twain. Jerome's sense of humour, is surprising when we come to know the condition of poverty he, suffered in his early life., , This excerpt from Three Men in a Boat is one of the most, widely appreciated passages of the book. It describes the, confusion and chaos that can be caused by a simple everyday, act when the prime performer in the act is a person who is, disorganised, bossy and inefficient. Uncle Podger makes the, whole house run around to help him drive a nail into a wall and, hang a picture on it. Everything that can go wrong does go wrong., , your life, as when my Uncle Podger undertook to do a job., A picture would have come home from the frame-maker’s, and, be standing in the dining room, waiting to be put up; and ‘Aunt, Podger would ask what was to be done with it, and Uncle Podger, , would say: ‘Oh, you leave that to me. Don’, , - Dont ), yourselves about that. I'l! do all that? oe, , cen SOVy, ‘ ‘ never saw such a commotion up and down a house, in all, , 34

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$ ee, oy” 4, , Ry, §° ynd then he woul, out for six P, , | dtake off his coat, and begin. He would send, | ennorth of nails, and then one of the boys, guhe ae to tell her what size to get; and, from that, he would, , X . ally work down, and start the whole house., “gra you go and get me my hammer, Will? he would shout;, you bring me the rule, Tom; and I shall want the step-ladder,, . S dea better have a kitchen-chair, too; and, Jim, you run round, ye ot Goggles, and tell him, “Pas kind regards, and hopes his, be will he lend him his spirit-level?” And don’t you, , jeg’s betters and, Il want somebody to hold me the light;, , 8 go, Maria» because I sha | ,, 1 comes back, she must go out again for a bit of, , ary when the git, ;cturecord; and Tom!—where’s ‘Tom?—Tom, you come here; J shall, , want you to hand me up the picture:, he would lift up the picture, and drop it, and it would, , And then, and he would try to save the glass, and, , come out of the frame,, cut himself; and then he would spring round the room, looking, for his handkerchief. He could not find his handkerchief, because, , it was in the pocket of the coat he had taken off, and he did not, t the coat, and all the house had to leave off, , know where he had pu, Jooking for his tools, and start looking for his coat, while he would, , dance round and hinder them., ‘Doesn't anybody in the whole house know where my coat is?, , Inever came across such a set in all my life—upon my word, I didn't, Six of you!—and you can't find a coat that I put down not, , five minutes ago! Well, of all the—’, Then hed get up, and find that he had been sitting on it, and, , would call out:, , ‘Oh, you can give it up! I’ve found it myself now. Might just as, , well ask the cat to find anything as expect you people to find it?, 2 or when half an hour had been spent in tying up his finger,, ae = a had been got, and the tools, and the ladder, and the, the Hcks ae had been brought, he would have another go,, found in a se Ys including the girl and the charwoman, standing, hold the ae to help. Two people would have to, ere, and a Gide a third would help him up on it, and hold him, up the ham would hand him a nail, and a fifth would pass, mer, and he would take hold of the nail, and drop it., , An., , , , 35

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OT ys hfe Al Se ES, , q, op», , ‘There!’ he would say, in an injured tone, ‘now the nail’s gone’, , And we would all have to go down on our knees and grovel for, it, while he would stand on the chair, and grunt, and want to know, if he was to be kept there all the evening. qo, , The nail would be found at last, but by that time he would have, lost the hammer., , ‘Where's the hammer? What did I do with the hammer? Great, heavens! Seven of you, gaping round there, and you don't know, what I did with the hammer!”, , We would find the hammer for him, and then he would have, , lost sight of the mark he had made on the wall, where a was, to go in, and each of us had to get up on the chair, beside im, and, see if we could find it; and we would each discover it in a different, place, and he would call us all fools, one after another, and tell us, to get down. And he would take the rule, and re-measure, and find, that he wanted half thirty-one and three-eighths inches from the, corner, and would try to do it in his head, and go mad., , And we would all try to do it in our heads, and all arrive at, different results, and sneer at one another. And in the general row,, the original number would be forgotten, and Uncle Podger would, have to measure it again., , He would use a bit of string this time, and at the critical moment,, when the old fool was leaning over the chair at an angle of fortyfive, and trying to reach a point three inches beyond what was, , possible for him to reach, the string would slip, and down he would, , slide on to the piano, a really fine musical effect being produced by, the suddenness with which his head and body struck all the notes, at the same time., , At last, Uncle Podger would get the spot fixed again, and put the, point of the nail on it with his left hand, and take the hammer in, his right hand. And, with the first blow, he would smash his thumb,, and drop the hammer,, , with a yell, on somebody’s toes., Aunt Maria would mildly observe that, next time Uncle Podger, was going to hammer a nail into the, , wall, she h ‘d let her, know in time, so that she could m: eemaped hed Sethe, , ake arrangements to go and, spend a week with her mother while it was being done., , ‘Oh, you women, you make such a fuss over everything, Uncle, \ 3, 36 Py goo, , oG es, , £

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c » a ‘I e, a J J, podger would reply,, Je job of this sort., and at the second blow,, , £ And then he would have another try,, nail would go clean through the plaster, and half the hammer, , le Podger be precipitated against the wal with, , picking himself up. ‘Why, I like doing a, , ri, , ¢ the :, after it, and Uncl gainat, the, ¥ force nearly sufficient to flatten his nose. -te 2v°° rLy Fopico Lome, ~ Then we had to find the rule and the string again, and a new ed, ~ hole was made; and, about midnight, the picture would be up—, a very crooked and insecure, the wall for yards round looking as if, £ og had been smoothed down with a rake, and everybody dead beat, and wretched—except Uncle Podger. 0. Gorden 70° 2 sith O, x ‘ at - a pro post, pT very unko PP fons, commotion: confusion, excitement, penntorth: a penny worth (British currency), up and down: in all directions, apicture would would here indicates that something is, have come: natural or habitual to be expected, he would take would here has the same meaning as, off his coat: habitual, rule: a measuring stick, spirit level: a glass tube almost filled with alcohol, used, | by a mason for testing whether a surface is, level or not, th the pa stop or place an obstacle in someones path, | cat to find it: Uncle Podger means to say that the cat, | would be better at finding it than the, charwoman: people around him., a woman who cleans and tidies a home, an, grunt; Office, etc., to make a short low sound to express, ie disapproval or unwillingness, meer: to look open-mouthed in surprise, , an unkind facial expression that shows, disapproval, , 37

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4 mw, row. fight or argurnel a, precipitate here, thrown OF Cause to 4p Vitherthy, against ia eta, The nail would... ‘By the time he found eid oe hatirte,, he would have lost would be lost as a 1 f rakit., his hammer:, rake; a garden tool to levd earth or remove, jeaves, wretched: very ill or miserable, , , , 1, Answer the following questions in ahout 109 words each., , rTRmee, , a, Explain the preparation for hanging the picture that Uncle Podge,, and his family make,, , b. What are the things that Uncle Podger loses and finds when, preparing for this task?, , c. Describe the steps by which Uncle Podger finally fixes the picture, on the wall., , d, What were some of the accidents that Uncle Podger has while he is, putting up the picture?, , ¢. Describe the attitude of the members of the family to Unde, Podger’s habits,, , f, What is the attitude of the author to the nature and habits of Unc, , Podgert How do Janguage and vocabulary aid in the process? Give, examples,, , - Answer the following questions in a sentence or two each., , a. Does the opening sentence say that Uncle Podger al eated, commotion? ome °, , b, What would Uncle Podger say when something needed done?, . Why did Uncle Podger rs a, , i need a spirit level, . What is meant by ‘he would gradually work down and start the, whole house’?, , . What happened to Uncle Podger’s coat?, Which words apply to Uncle Podger?, , . Did the others help Uncle Podger willingly? How 2, . What did Aunt Maria pla e. Behe g, , n for the next tim odger, going to fix something? Seite >, , ana, , 38